so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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