So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
