Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
