He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
