Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
