"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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