M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
