You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
