How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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