Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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