He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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