And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
