just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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