I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
