Yo dont text me then not text me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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