I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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