my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
