Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
