Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
