butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Randomize
