guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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