I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
