i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
