Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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