Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
