Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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