508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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