if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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