He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
