I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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