well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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