I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
