my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
