Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Randomize
