It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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