Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize