I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
