i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
