people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
