Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Randomize
