I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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