do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
