my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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