How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He has the fingertips of a God
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