sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
