He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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