Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
