Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
