You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
