I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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