Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
