Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I need a burrito and a hug.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
