I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
