Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
