Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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