Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
