Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dick very happy bro
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
