I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
