I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
