you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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