This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
