U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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