An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
