Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
