Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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