My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
