hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize