I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
