so explain again why im purple
no
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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