Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
