dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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