This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
