why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
