Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
