I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
