i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
