so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
