wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
