Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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