I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
