Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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