Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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