K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
