Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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