Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
